Another subject that is hard for me to talk about is my mental health. My anxiety has made its self present while waiting on the surgery. I change my mind about this surgery many times a day. A lot of negative thoughts creep into my head about it, worried something going wrong during surgery or even years after. All days end with in the decision that having the surgery will be the best for me.
Over the last 3 years my weight has been like a roller coaster. At one point, I lost about seventy pounds. Remembering how happy I was during that brief time of weighing less and feeling healthier is what keeps convincing me to go through with it.
I’m a pretty negative person, always the pessimist of the group. So the thought of something going wrong crosses my mind all the time. I’ve set myself up with a hefty life insurance policy and started making a will, as scary as that sounds. So if there’s something of mine you’d like, you better tell me quick! :p